Accepting and allowing

 
“Accepting this is how it is now is allowing myself”
 
Tldr: From any given reality, following the flow of acceptance, by trial and error, is allowing us, to do, feel and be, in the hope of aligning our soul, body and mind. It is freeing.
 
The concept of acceptance
 
It is what it is, this reality that is mine.
 
My reality might include things like a move, having a family, changing job, … all things that can bring me joy, stress, etc. but there can be things like losing someone you love, a disability, any traumatic experience. All kinds of events that are set in the past with an impact on the present and situations that are temporary.
 
Accepting reality does not mean I like it or agree with it. But when I make the choice not to fight against it, I remove myself from unnecessary suffering.  Because I cannot change the past nor can I change what is not under my control.
I recognise I might feel all the emotions attached to reality (anger, fear, anxiety, grief, etc.). I might be tempted to supress them but allowing myself to feel whatever I feel without judgment is also a kind of acceptance, it is allowing myself to be.
If I fight against my reality, I focus my energy into the pain (that is present in everything, even in the joy), turning it into suffering.
 
Within the pain and joy of reality, and its acceptance, there is a chance for hope because I am able to direct my energy to expand within what I can do. There is freedom when I understand that accepting what I cannot control enables me to focus on what I can change, what I can do.
 
It might not be always possible to continuously listen to myself while my reality evolves (and therefore have to accept it again) but because of the impermanence of reality and because of my own awareness, I am confident the possibility will present itself or I will be able to nudge it. I am allowing myself to be present in that impermanence.
 
The concept of allowing myself
 
Allowing myself (to be, to do, to feel…) is the result of a balance between being able to accept this reality I am in and believing I am and will be able to listen to what my body, my mind and my soul want.
 
Accepting and allowing are not easy, they need trying and trying again, sometimes coming back to a state of non-acceptance, making mistakes, not listening, to remind myself of how I (want to, like to) use my energy and my time.
These might feel like a step back, as they look like I’m trying to get away from my life but these are all perfectly fine as they help me to be reminded to listen to myself and to accept my reality.
 
Allowing myself to do is following my soul, following my heart, even if the first action I take is not seen as the right one, I can feel it is because my soul is in alignment with this action.
 
Allowing myself to feel is as explained earlier, allowing myself to feel all the feelings, knowing when to continue, when to stop, or take a break. It is not avoiding pain or emotions but feeling them before deciding what to do.
 
Allowing myself to be is accepting what I’ve got while making the most of it in a soul-feeding way, without fear or guilt by following my heart knowing my mind will safeguard this process through my set of values and boundaries.